[Intro]
...yeah...
it's calling again...
the same way it always does...
[Hook]
I want death like I want the noise to finally stop
I want it like the last clean breath before the body drops
I want the lights to cut out with no warning, no fight
I want the quiet to hold me the way living never might
I want death like a secret I been keeping too long
I want it to answer when I call it by name in the dark
Just take me... don't ask if I'm sure
I been sure since the pain started keeping its own score
[Verse 1]
The mirror don't lie but it don't tell the full truth either
It shows a man still standing but the soul's a believer
In endings, in silence, in rooms with no doors
In the mercy of nothing when everything's been at war
I move through the days like I'm wearing someone else's name
Smiling on cue while the inside stays the same
Grey on grey on grey, the colors all bled out
I been dying in slow motion but they still call it doubt
When I say I don't want tomorrow, they call it a phase
Like the ache in my chest been around just a couple of days
It's been years... decades... whole lifetimes in a cage
Made of ribs and regret and the minimum wage
Of staying alive for the people who need me to pretend
That the fire ain't already burned through everything in the end
[Hook]
I want death like I want the noise to finally stop
I want it like the last clean breath before the body drops
I want the lights to cut out with no warning, no fight
I want the quiet to hold me the way living never might
I want death like a secret I been keeping too long
I want it to answer when I call it by name in the dark
Just take me... don't ask if I'm sure
I been sure since the pain started keeping its own score
[Verse 2]
I picture the moment the clock forgets how to tick
No more rent in my head, no more thoughts that don't stick
Just the weight sliding off like old skin in the rain
And the first time my name don't feel like a chain
They'll say I gave up but they don't know what I gave
I gave mornings I hated, I gave nights I couldn't save
I gave smiles that cost more than the air in my lungs
I gave years to a version of me that was already done
Death don't judge... it don't ask me to fight
It just opens its arms like it knew I was right
All along... that the exit was always the plan
That the body was never built to hold this much man
[Bridge]
And maybe it's weak
Maybe I'm too far gone to be reached
But the wanting don't leave
It just sits in the seat
Next to me while I drive
With its hand on my knee
Whispering "when you're ready...
I'm ready to be
The only peace
You've ever seen"
[Hook]
I want death like I want the noise to finally stop
I want it like the last clean breath before the body drops
I want the lights to cut out with no warning, no fight
I want the quiet to hold me the way living never might
I want death like a secret I been keeping too long
I want it to answer when I call it by name in the dark
Just take me... don't ask if I'm sure
I been sure since the pain started keeping its own score
[Outro]
(fading, layered, almost whispered)
I want it...
I want it so bad...
Just let the wanting end...
Let me go...